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As Valentine’s Day is approaching, many of us are thinking about love. You may be planning to do something for your significant other, or expressing your love to someone else in your life – your children, parents, friends, etc.

But while we focus on these relationships, many of us neglect to pay attention to the most important relationship we have in our life – the relationship we have with ourselves.

Have you ever asked yourself what kind of relationship you have with yourself? I didn’t really ask myself this question growing up and once I did, I was surprised to find that I wasn’t very nice to myself.

What I was saying to myself was full of criticism and judgment. It didn’t matter where I was, my inner critic was with me all the time. I would come out of a meeting telling myself: “Why did I say that? I am so stupid!”

When I needed rest, I continued to drive myself, ignoring my own needs.

I constantly put other people’s wants ahead of my own, sacrificing my own in the process.

We spend a lot of time with ourselves - in fact, there is no escaping - we are with ourselves 24/7. Ok, so maybe part of that time is spent sleeping, but that still leaves most of the day.

If you were to choose to be with one person for that many hours every single day, what type of person would you choose? And how would you want them to treat you? Would you pick someone who admonishes and nags you or someone who is supportive and encouraging? Would you like to be with someone who is like a strict teacher or a best friend?

What kind of relationship do you want to have with yourself?

Here is a way you can create the relationship you want right now:

1. To start with, imagine your perfect relationship with a partner. How would s/he treat you and talk to you? Be as specific as you can.
   My ideal partner will… (for example: listen to me, be supportive, encourage me, etc.)
2. Then take the description you came up with and apply it to your ideal relationship with yourself. How would you want to treat yourself and talk to yourself?
   I will …. (for example: listen to myself, support myself, encourage myself etc.)
3. Every evening, write a paragraph to yourself, talking to yourself in the way you just described. What would you say to yourself?

When you love yourself and take good care of yourself, you feel happier, healthier, more patient, more compassionate, more forgiving, and have more energy.

Taking care of yourself and loving yourself is also one of the most loving things you can do for others. When you take care of yourself, you are increasing your capacity to take care of people you care about. By taking the time to really nurture yourself and fulfill your needs and follow your passions, you are better able to motivate, inspire, spread joy, and share happiness.

You are not just doing this for yourself. You are doing this for your loved ones, for the people you care about, for everyone you touch with your life.  It benefits everyone.

So this Valentine’s Day, remember to express love in the most important relationship in your life. Speak to yourself kindly and take care of yourself by taking time to rest and doing things you enjoy.

Wishing you a kind, loving, inspiring, and positive month!

Manuela helps heart-centered professionals create a career and life they love. Contact her for a free 45 minute Career and Life Strategy session. Get more information on Manuela’s Website.